Domestic Violence and Islam in America

The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife”
– Prophet Muhammad

If yesterday was a normal day in America then it would be safe to assume that several women were killed and hundreds were raped. But very few if any of them will garner much media attention. Why do hundreds of these women who have either been killed or raped by their husbands or boyfriends not merit the attention of the national media in the U.S.? The answer is simple: Their tragedies are merely that – tragedies. They do not bring the added advantage of creating opportunities for Islamophobes to bash Islam and try to paint Muslims as violent.

That’s what has happened since the Feb. 12 beheading of Aasiya Zubair Hassan, allegedly by her husband, in a Buffalo suburb. The media attention given to the story, in a strange way, is a compliment to American Muslims. Shocking and outrageous violence by Americans against women is routine, but egregious violence by American Muslims against their wives is such a rare occasion that it deserves literally hundreds of articles in the media.

On Feb. 12 in a suburb of Buffalo, Mrs. Hassan was beheaded. Her husband, Muzammil Hassan, was arrested and charged with the murder. Two weeks later we are still discussing the event. On Feb. 17, only a few miles away, Robert E. Johnson allegedly stabbed his wife to death 41 times and nearly decapitated her. Mrs. Johnson’s murder was reported only in local newspapers and without any discussion of the couple’s religion, race or ethnicity.

The media’s singling out of the Hassan murder tells us more about the media’s obsession with Islam than any genuine concern for the millions of women in America, who are victims of domestic violence.

Having said all that, I must also add that as a Muslim I find Muzammil Hassan’s alleged murder of his wife shocking and dismaying on many levels. The sheer grotesqueness of the murder has galvanized the American Muslim community to wake up and take a close look at itself. Domestic violence is as much a part of the American Muslim community as it is part of mainstream America. Many Muslim voices are now raising the issue of domestic violence and hopefully mosques and Muslim organizations across the country will educate the community about this sickness and work to eliminate it.

There is a poignant irony in this tragedy. The Hassans, together as husband and wife, established Bridges TV, a Muslim cable network, to project a positive image of Islam. American Muslims all over the country started many initiatives with the goal to combat the growing negative image of Islam after the terror attacks on September 11, 2001. I hope the American Muslim community learns an important lesson here, that image is not all about spin. It is not enough to give a positive spin to reality. What is needed is reform. The act for which Muzammil Hassan is accused has done more damage to the image of Islam and Muslims than the good done by five years of positive programming by Bridges TV.

I also hope American Muslims will seek genuine reform within the community. What I tried to do in the first part of this article is to show that domestic violence is routine in America and rare by American Muslims. I tried to spin it. But the harsh reality is that Aasiya is dead, her husband stands accused of the grisly crime, and they were Muslims.

Yes, I know, and most Americans will understand that Islam and religion had nothing to do with what Hassan did. He did not kill his wife because he was a Muslim. However as a Muslim ethical philosopher I cannot help but ask this question: Why didn’t his faith prevent him from committing such a dastardly act? Do Islamic beliefs lead to domestic violence in Muslim families? The answer is an emphatic no. Has Islam failed to make women safe and secure within the sacred confines of a Muslim marriage, the answer is sadly, yes.

Violence against women comes essentially from a fundamental lack of respect for the opposite gender. If women are recognized as the moral equal of men and respect for them is systematically encouraged through zero tolerance for abuse, then domestic violence will become rare. Muslims, especially those who are advocates of Islam, cannot stop talking about how Islam brought dignity to women, but the reality of Muslim women belies this claim. The reason for that is simple. Islamic sources go both ways. If you wish to argue that Islam bestows dignity upon women, the sources are available to substantiate that claim. If you wish to demean women and subjugate them, then too you can find justification in the sources.

Exhibit A from the Qur’an: The Qur’an asserts that women have the same rights with regards to men that men have vis-à-vis women: “And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them.” (Qur’an 2:228). But it also suggests that “Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other.” [Qur’an 4:34]. This verse not only gives men authority over women but is used by some Muslims to assert the superiority of men over women. Also in 2:28 where equal rights of women are asserted, the Qur’an says: “And the husbands hold a degree of superiority over them”. Elsewhere the Qur’an states that “men and women are like garments for each other,” [2:187] suggesting the similar roles of spouses as protectors of each other implying at least functional if not moral equality.

Exhibit B from the Prophetic Traditions: Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said in his last sermon: “Treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers”. But the Hadith traditions also claim that the Prophet said: “I was shown the Hell-fire and the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful to their husbands.” The Prophet is reported to have said that “The best among you is the one who is the best towards his wife” and he is also reported to have said to women “‘I have not seen any one more deficient in intelligence and religion than you”.

Islam is not a set of textual sources existing without context. Islam is essentially how Muslims interpret the above sources and reconcile their competing meanings. Muslim societies are a product of how Muslims actualize the meanings that they elicit from the divine sources. Muslim men and Muslim women who believe that Islam bestows dignity on women, and that men and women should be treated equally, must come together, to develop community regimes that protect women’s dignity and the sanctity of marriage. I hope the energy and momentum generated by the tragic murder of Aasiya Zubair Hassan will bring about concrete changes within the Muslim community.